It's a rotten business-- but I love it!: April 2007

When it comes to the Shallow Teen Movie (or, more specifically, the Mean Girl movie), there's definitely an assortment of opinions. It's almost universally agreed that Heathers is a classic (and pretty much the founder of the genre). Everything else is up for debate, which means I occasionally find myself defending Mean Girls to Jackie, a position I'm not entirely comfortable with.

But anyway. The Mean Girl movie that is nearest and dearest to my heart (after Heathers, of course) would have to be Jawbreaker. Implausible plot, cheesy lines, bizarre cast well over their supposed ages-- this baby has it all.

"In what was meant as a harmless birthday prank, three of Reagan High School's most popular girls, Julie, Foxy, and Courtney pretend to kidnap their friend, the latter shoving a jawbreaker into the victim's mouth to keep her from screaming. Their plan goes awry when the girl accidently swallows the jawbreaker, choking to death. The cool and calculating Courtney tries to cover the crime but is found out by school geek Fern Mayo. In return for her silence, Courtney transforms the gawky Fern into the stylishly beautiful Vylette, leaving the conscience-stricken Julie out in the cold, threatening to set her up for the girl's murder if she breaks her silence." -- from imdb

First thing's first: The cast is inspired. The queen bee Courtney is played by Rose McGowan (26 at the time of the film's release), who is obviously of Grindhouse fame but who I will always think of as Not Actually a Halliwell. Then there's Foxy (?!), played by Julie Benz (age 27), a.k.a. Darla. Rebecca Gayheart (age 28) plays the third, nicer member of the clique, though I don't really care about her because she hasn't been in anything that interesting to me (unless you count being the original Inara). And, finally, we have the awesome Judy Greer (a comparatively youthful 24) as Fern Mayo/Vylette. Throw in a couple of cameos from Marilyn Manson and Pam Grier and you've got yourself a movie.

Other than the super-sweet cast and the plot that manages to be kind of twisted but yet totally predictable, there's much joy to be found in the little things. Such as:

The slo-mo hallway walks!